comment on this article | e-mail this article to a friend



  Home
  Back One Page
  Contact Us
  Glossary




by David Truman

Is there love after ego? Of course! Love is eternal. There's love after EVERYTHING: cold feet; terror; refusal; denial -- even after complete withdrawal. There's love after maneuvers of all kinds, both defensive and offensive. Yes, there's love after ego -- but not much.

A lot of love is too much for the ego, you see. Too much to give. Too much to take. "Too much love" begins to call ego's fortifications -- selfishness, space, sovereignty, defense and offense -- into question. A lot of love means the ego -- or rather, egotism, and the ego-dominated life it requires -- has got to go. Wherever that Love light shines, all such junk sticks out like a sore thumb. For example:

You had a casual friendship, saw each other occasionally, and called it fine. And it WAS fine -- in a mediocre, not-very-fine way. But then something UNEXPECTED happened: the two of you fell in love. Suddenly, that comfortable distance disappeared. Now that love's flared up, separate living feels irritating.

But when it comes to taking that next step into togetherness, is there resistance? Of course! That would risk "too much love."

If ever love raises its beautiful head too high, the ego gets uncomfortable, and reacts in ugly ways. That's what we call cold feet, and retractions, and blowing hot and cold, and whatever else. They're a person's efforts to re-stabilize after their illusion of separatism is shaken by love's fire. Love is trying to break us from our conventional separateness, and bring us into the infinity of love. And so when we are trying to re-stabilize and reconfigure ourselves, we're trying to douse the love fire out. After we douse that blaze, what we have left is smoldering embers. Not TOO much.

With the help of some love filters and light dimmers, and with its I.V. injecting a steady stream of selfish living, ego can breathe easy again (as easy, that is, as a person CAN breathe when the lungs are shot, and the heart muscle is weak). But yes, even with the ego-survival gear in place, those so-called life support systems, there's love -- but not too much.

What ego calls life support -- little love -- is, for all intents and purposes, death support. Atrophy of heart. Atrophy of all the muscles of participation.

And by the same token, what ego calls death -- big love -- is Life Itself.

Natural love is BIG. How big? BIG BIG! Big love is Real love. Real love means big flow. True lovers live LARGE up in here. LARGE! The True Self embraces high flow love relationships, because those are the only ones that allow sufficient energy, sufficient co-creation, and sufficient communion. Sufficient for heart and soul satisfaction, that is. For fulfillment.

Everyone can do high flow relationships -- all it takes is love, openness, and will. One must be open and willing. Here's how it goes:

Two or more souls, when you rub them together, make a spark. If you feed that spark with activity, energy, and attention, the spark becomes a flame. That flame grows bigger and bigger. Pretty soon, we realize we are in It. (And in fact, It is heating the entire space around us, along with everyone all around.) How sweet It Is! A love flame, once ignited, gradually grows into a full blown nuclear-powered fusion reaction.

It's just like a forest fire: At first, it just starts burning little stuff. But then, add a little wind, a little fuel, and it takes off. Under favorable conditions, it soon reaches a certain critical mass; then, a forest fire actually becomes a vortex, a firestorm. It generates huge wind, a wind that blows from all directions INTO its fiery core. That vortex sucks in everything that isn't bolted down, and burns it UP. (Heat rises, you know.) Then, with huge convection power, it shoots the ashes of all it has consumed WAY up into the sky -- into the heavens.

Similarly: A nuclear-powered love-reaction, once inflamed, starts to melt down ego and everything else. It starts sucking everything in to Itself. It calls for MORE! It calls for letting go of everything one usually clings to. Material is sucked in. MATERIALISM is sucked in. MISTAKEN IDENTITY is sucked in. It calls us to enter that fire, that crucible, out of which the Real Gold comes. And then, it consumes the people -- actually, it consumes their ego-identity -- and shoots their remains up into the heavens. But, what comes out is all that REALLY was there in the first place: REALITY. The beauty of the process is, it brings Life to Life. In this grand bonfire, reality has been rendered more truly Self-conscious. One finds oneself.

If we would be TRULY free, and if we would FULLY love, here's what we need to do: feed love's fire. BE in the fire. Push the edges, walk over the boundaries. Then, while we will maintain our individuality, and even suffer a certain separateness, we will be, in relative terms, very much One Mind. And we will function TOGETHER rather than separately. You can feel that, because it is the Truth about love.

But you know, here on earth, in ego-mind, love threatens even as it heals. On earth, we're earth-bound. And, we're ego-bound. This grand ego incinerator, this heaven ascent isn't exactly ego's preference. Ordinarily, we just cling to our life, time, patterns, energies, investments of all kinds. An ordinary person, if honest enough, would say, "I cling to ideas about who I am, what I can do, what my limitations are, what I must be, how I must remain. So I pass on love's crucible. That's what I do." Thus, high flow relationships often seem impossible to create, much less sustain or fulfill.

When one person puts their foot into a high flow dance with another, the nuclear-love-fusion-reaction begins. Joining in this type of relationship is bigger than we are -- or at least, bigger than we tend to THINK we are. And once begun, the love-reaction certainly has a LIFE of its own. It only SEEMS LIKE a force of the reaction between two people. Actually, it brings into play higher forces than we contain -- all kinds of other forces we are connected to, and because of that, one gets the feeling -- rightly, in a way -- that things are running out of control.

The fire dance that ensues is a huge engine. In that reaction/celebration, if the force is allowed to burn high enough, it DOES melt down the walls, the separation, the distance. Or at the very least, it TENDS to do so -- and begins to do so. But, WILL can and does control it. And, love, desire, surrender, are needed to power it.

So of course, as always, this is all free play. For the free play to stay free, blossom into what it really IS, and yield its true potential, one must be open and willing, right? Only that, but that is HUGE. Not to be taken for granted.

To be willing for Big Love, the only thing people need to know is there's no harm in Unity -- only the Undoing of separative mentality and the suffering that separative mentality spawns, every day. This truth NEEDS to be pointed out, seen, and experienced.

Ordinarily, without knowing about the compatibility of life and love, the human perspective habitually and unquestioningly fears extinction in love -- in joining with, in blending. There is no blame for that. It is an innocent failure to realize the fact that Unity and individuality ARE compatible. In fact, a person CAN be unified and still have individuality. But we don't usually KNOW that (much less have enough faith in it to bet our lives on it). So we resist the love-reaction (which is, indeed a meltdown into Unity). We douse the fire.

Not wanting to be Undone, wanting only to keep on SEPARATELY being/doing, human personality reacts survivalistically to the love threat. It reacts by battening down against the vortex power that love kindles. The feeling-awareness of impending amalgamation causes the ego to hang on tight to what it thinks we are, and what we have. This reaction exists -- over and over. And that is the cause of all human suffering. That protection-reaction holds all human suffering -- smallness/alienation/insufficient nurturance/insufficient loving -- in place.

That's where the second thoughts, the retractions, the doubts come into play. Whatever junk the ego pulls out of its bag of tricks, its tendency to resist the love/unification-reaction with a pseudo-protective separation-reaction is effectively anti-Unitive. Egoic counter-reaction limits/stabilizes/diminishes nuclear love-reaction. It keeps the nuclear love-reaction from getting where it wants to go, and tends to go: to infinity.

The ego's habit of hanging on and strategically withholding keeps much of the total available fuel -- which is, essentially, love, recognition, energy, whole-heartedness, true commitment -- out of love's reaction vessel. Usually, a certain amount of fuel is thrown into the reactor, but no more. Or, in the fear process, the rods that were initially inserted into the reactor's core are drawn out -- either somewhat, or completely. In all of these cases, the nuclear fusion reaction loses critical mass, and dies down, or dies out. That is the human way. It results from survival instinct and ego-identification. But ultimately, essentially, all these anti-fusion reactions are caused, by separation will -- the desire to maintain separateness.

The vote against love-fusion is a vote for singularity, difference, and distance. All of that is considered survival-essential, and identity-essential, even though it actually is NOT. A person who emerges from love's crucible is forever One, that's all. They're MORE who they are than ever, if anything.

Infinity is tough for the lower mind, lower life, ego-life. Therefore, even though infinity is every bit as beautiful as ego-smallness is ugly, infinity is not usually viewed favorably from the human vantage point (except, perhaps, from a respectful distance). The anti-unification reaction maintains the old and familiar structure -- the status quo of separative living. And that, presumably, is the good news. The bad news is, those old patterns, as long as they are preserved, remain as painful as ever. Separation and alienation are forever painful. Indeed, to justify all that pain and deprivation caused by love-resistance, ego puts the CON in CONfusion. Truly, without CONfusion, only fusion would be. Unity! But, as long as separative patterns continue, the precious product of love-fusion, the alloy of heart-blending, remains UNOBTAINIUM.

So, when lighting strikes, and a forest fire of love flares up, let it burn freely. Forest fires are natural, you know. They've always been. And they're useful: they clear out the dead underbrush.

Love's fire, too, is natural. It clears away the dead wood of selfish living. It clears away the obstructive, choking underbrush of alienation. Soon, if we would only feed in ourselves the willingness for the awesome forest fire of natural love to freely burn, we won't HAVE so many complications to worry about in life. Love's fire will take care of the dead wood for us. And we will just be here, as we are -- feeding this ever-blending, never-ending fire.

Now, friends, you know about the awesome refiner's fire of natural love. How it works; what it does; and where is it heading. Use that knowledge of Big Love -- and your experience of it, as you've had it -- as a reference point by which to put ego's little love in proper perspective. Forget little love, that hopeless little hope. You COULD tell it to go to hell, but that would be redundant, wouldn't it? Save your breath -- and your treasures -- for Real Love.

All we need is the freedom to be, and the chemistry for that specific co-creation of Being that's home -- home for you/me/we. It's all about Real Home, substantial mutual commitment. Invest big, love large, where BIG possibility for love-fusion is realizable. Offer Big Love wherever It may be welcome, and accept It as It offers Itself.

It is okay by the True Self that love takes us over. It is okay by True Self that we move into that which we recognize is as our Nature. We are all of that Nature. The True Self knows that Nature will not hurt us -- because it IS us. We are bigger than the walls and the body container, by far. This is why we can say, "Friends, whatever blends, the chord is you" -- and MEAN it.

Friends
whatever blends
the Chord is you.
Free
are you to be
Love born
Love True.

Sing
Love's sweet refrain
bring
until
We
do you remain
have
and Will.



by David Truman

Please feel free to share copies of this article.
We only ask that you mention its source.

- The Living Love Fellowship -

E-mail this article to a friend TOP

 

Use this area to leave feedback on the article you've just read

Little Love vs Real Love
Direct E-mail Request for support
Use the spaces below to send your comments directly to LLF via e-mail. You can write as much as you like in the comments area. When you are done, click the "Send Comments" button.

If you appreciate what we're doing, we would appreciate your support.

We work hard, every single day of our lives, to do what we do, to delve as deep as we do, to put it out as far as we do, to do it to the high standards that we always seek to meet. There is so much more we would do, if we had the resources to do it.

We know that you appreciate what we're doing. We've received thanks from many of you. When we appreciate anything that much, we WANT to support it. That's how we live. We give from our pockets as well as from our hearts.

We ask you to consider whether you would want to do the same for us.

To support this work, click here.

Comments

Comment is required

Name

Please enter your name

Email address:

Please enter your email addressInvalid email address

Re-enter your email address:

Please re-enter your email addressEmail addresses do not match

Please enter the sum of 21 + 32
so we know you are a human being

You have not entered the correct sumYou have not entered the correct sum
Thank you for your comments.
They will help us improve our web site, and help others enjoy it more.

Home | Site Map
Contact Us | Donate