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The social sphere contributes immeasurably to practical life. Social motivations are what really GET us going, and KEEP us going. We truly want to make a positive difference -- either to special loved ones or to humanity at large. That desire to CONTRIBUTE inspires us to dream higher, and work harder. And of course, support from others makes it much more possible to reach any goal we've set. In fact, the better our social relationships, the more we can accomplish. So let's take a good look at the many ways our social relations can benefit practical life.
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Helping people (the urge to serve)
Service is the heart of practical life. Fortunately, MOST of our practical work benefits others. Helping others gives us a great purpose and a deep sense of satisfaction.
Helping others may not rank high on our list of daily priorities, but it certainly should. Everywhere we turn, people NEED help. Children do not thrive, physically or emotionally, without the devoted service of parents and other adults. Businesses cannot succeed without the loyalty and dedication of their workers. Every community needs the active participation of its members, and mutually beneficial dealings with other communities, in order to endure and prosper.
But service is more than just an ethical duty; it's a cosmic "calling" -- an impulse that springs from the very depths of our spiritual nature. In our hearts and souls, we IDENTIFY with all of humanity. We recognize all persons as our brothers and sisters in God. We CARE about their welfare and happiness. Therefore, we don't need training or social pressure to serve; the impulse to serve is our native response to the Unity of Life. No wonder service feels so Divinely RIGHT!
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People to help us (we all need help)
What goes around comes around. In the Unity of Life, serving and being served flow into one another in an endless circle. This circle of MUTUAL service is an essential element in the Divine plan for healing and upliftment. May the circle be unbroken! Everyone would thrive if we consistently lived in the spirit of this beautiful blessing:
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"May you always do for others, and let others do for you...."
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Clearly, for the circle to keep flowing, we must give and also receive service freely. REJECTING HELP can be just as much a problem as REFUSING TO HELP. We stop the flow whenever we're reluctant to ask for help, or to accept it.
Receiving help can be more challenging than giving it. Most people take pride in being self-sufficient. We may feel reluctant to burden others; we may not want to become indebted to anyone. But the fact remains:
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"No man is an island."
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Even the world's most committed loners recognize the practical impossibility of a completely independent lifestyle. Staunch survivalists living in remote areas rely on trade, and periodic deliveries of crucial supplies to sustain their solitude. In any lifestyle, people who habitually refuse help just make their practical life unnecessarily harder.
Let's be honest: There's practically NO SUCH THING as a purely personal accomplishment. At every award ceremony, almost every acceptance speech includes this grateful acknowledgement: "I couldn't have done it without ______." It's TRUE. We all get by with a little help from our friends.
Whatever we do, we at least started by learning our craft from someone -- probably several people. And once we've learned it, we all do our life's work within a larger circle, including assistants, colleagues, advisors, suppliers, well-wishers, and patrons. In this sense, every so-called individual accomplishment represents the culmination of group efforts.
Who said that depending on others necessarily reflects weakness -- or inadequacy, or irresponsibility? How tragically misleading! It's more like a way to leverage our personal strengths into something far greater. The whole IS greater than the sum of its parts. So, the odds favor those who allow themselves to be helped!
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Cooperation for practical accomplishment
Many of the practical benefits of social relationship result from COOPERATION. People working together for a shared purpose can indeed accomplish wonders.
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Large projects require cooperative effort. As part of our desire to help, we often dream bigger dreams than we can fulfill by ourselves. One person has only so much time and energy; If we work alone, our individual strength, energy, ingenuity, and faith won't create the results we desire. Therefore, our fondest projects may REQUIRE, for their accomplishment, the combined skills and energy of a number of people.
It is said, "United we stand, divided we fall." Here we could say, "United we accomplish great things, divided we're more likely to fall SHORT."
Cooperation multiplies energy. The benefits of cooperation start even before anyone lifts a hand: Inspiration multiplies the moment other people resonate our values and share our vision. And when cooperative work begins, the thrill of joined intention and coordinated effort puts huge wind in our sails.
Work teams often accomplish tremendous things practically without tiring. We've all heard about groups building an entire barn in a single day, or rescuing hundreds of people after a natural disaster in a round-the-clock effort. Even in a simple, everyday act like cleaning the kitchen, true cooperation offers the same wonderful empowerment: Energy rises, productivity soars, and a happy spirit blesses both the work and the workers. In teamwork, one plus one equals four. That's what we call "spiritual math"!
Two heads are better than one. Teamwork not only eases and expedites human effort; it significantly improves the outcome at every stage of the process. In the planning stage, pooling ideas almost invariably produces the best possible strategy. When unexpected challenges obstruct the work process, we solve them best with the input of others. The principle "two heads are better than one" applies in all kinds of projects, from putting a man on the moon to throwing a party. In most cases, by working and thinking TOGETHER, we can not only achieve our goals, but surpass them!
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Social rejuvenation/nurturing
The daily grind of ordinary practical life consumes LOTS of energy. To maintain full effectiveness day after day, we need our batteries recharged periodically. For body/spirit refreshment, social exchange excels. Rarely does any solitary activity -- even sleep -- refresh us as quickly and thoroughly.
Social rejuvenation obviously includes direct energy infusions from others; for instance, through getting sympathy, or a massage. We also get a powerful boost from social interactions in which energy flows both ways, such as lively conversation, dancing, and social recreation. We gain by giving to others as much as by receiving.
A positive social life helps us keep up with the never-ending demands of practical life. So next time you feel too busy or tired to go out with your buddies or to call a friend, think again. A brief social intermission can more than pay for itself in higher energy, greater clarity, and more stamina for the work ahead.
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Poor social ability creates huge practical problems
We more fully appreciate the practical value of healthy relating when we see how poorly life works without it. Low social functioning (or no social functioning) creates numerous practical inefficiencies.
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Example: In aboriginal communities, men hunt together and share their prey. Why are they so cooperative? If each of them hunted alone, they would certainly not fare as well. Their culture recognizes that the welfare of their families and very survival of the tribe as a whole depends, in the most practical ways, on social affinity.
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At work.
The social-practical connection is so strong that employers dread problem employees -- meaning, workers who don't get along socially. When work relationships become problematical, morale goes down the drain, and productivity falls like a stone. At their worst, interpersonal problems may force impromptu changes in procedures; for example, a lone worker may have to attempt a task designed to be done in pairs. Even a mild case of personal "incompatibility" reduces the frequency and clarity of communication, and dramatically increases mistakes.
On the heels of social conflict, workplace inefficiencies continue to mount up until good relations are restored. And healing itself comes at a high price. Often, restoring harmony will require lots of talking, soul searching, getting over it, and making amends. If time and willingness do not allow for a solution, peace may not return until someone quits -- or gets fired.
At home.
All around the world, interpersonal conflicts make home life far more difficult than it would otherwise be. Think of the emotional and practical costs of broken friendships, family feuds, messy lawsuits, and bitter inheritance battles. All of that wrecks havoc on practical affairs.
The huge practical implications of divorce or separation make a perfect case in point: Two people who once shared rent, food, and chores must now maintain two homes, duplicate household duties, and synchronize childcare responsibilities. How terribly impractical to not get along!
In the world at large.
The impracticality of global division and discord is monumental -- and tragically WASTEFUL. Nations impoverish themselves, and jeopardize the welfare of millions, when governments or citizens indulge in self-centered, conflictual mentality.
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On an international scale, tremendous resources have disappeared into the bottomless pit of military preparations.
On a national scale, conflict has caused the immense suffering of protracted and costly labor strikes, violent race riots, etc.
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Use the social, don't abuse it
We've established the fact that good social skills yield significant benefits in practical life. Does that mean that love yields the most mutual benefit? After all, love is the greatest social "skill" of all.
Potentially, it's true -- love could literally TRANSFORM our everyday world. Note, however, that only GENUINE love has transformative power. We're not genuinely loving when we "love" for the expected rewards of doing so. We can easily tell the difference when we're on the receiving end! How does it feel to be pursued because you have a nice car, or lots of money, or valuable skills to impart? Not good!
Though the practical benefits of getting along well with others give us great incentive to improve our social functioning, we'll never truly succeed with people if our interest in them is PRIMARILY practical. Whenever we exercise ANY of our social skills in pursuit of personal gain, our strategy backfires. We need a higher-minded approach.
Fortunately, we all have plenty of GOOD and VALID motivations for socializing, and even for consciously applying the power of social life to practical life. Built into our Divine "genetics," we all have a deep need for each other, and a sincere desire to relate well to others for THEIR sake. So, let's try to pursue healthy social lives with no strings attached, as an expression of our true spiritual nature and our heartfelt desire. If we reap some practical side-effects as a bonus, great! If not, we're ALREADY better off.
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