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I struggle with being judgmental
Greetings Asha,
I want to ask You about judgment. I struggle with remaining non-judgmental when I help my friends in their processing. I try not to see them as right or wrong, just to provide a loving space for them to explore and discover who they are. I want to be simply accepting. However, I still find myself judging, and I feel bad about that.
Am I being too critical with myself? Am I confusing judgment that is constructive, with judgment that is not? Would you please help me understand judgment rightly?
Love,
Lacey
Dear Asha,
Lately, I am weighing myself down due to a lack of discipline in certain habits which seem, at a deeper level, are an old habit of avoiding feeling and higher energy. I still have selfish and negative times, and am not completely given yet, as shown by my indulgences. I am ashamed of this and therefore it is hard to bring it to You.
I can see that my lack of appropriate action and judgments on myself are not good for me. Every time I think about asking for Your help in this, I decide that I cannot burden You with my own weakness. I simply must do things right. But there is a stuckness I'm having a hard time shaking off. Today when I was walking the dog, I remembered Jesus' words saying He will help us in stuck places. And so, instead of deciding not to ask for Your help, I am asking, "Please help me."
Even as I am writing, strong emotions are welling up in me. It is good to share this with You. It is time to conquer these things with You, rather than on my own.
I love You, Asha!!! I look forward to Your answer, and will serve You today in all I do.
Love, and Love, and Love,
Francine
Beloved Asha,
Thank You for the tenderness and softness of Your love, Your loving embrace. You hold the care of the world so perfectly in Your Divine heart. It is of such a sublime nature, Your love, the love that You are teaching and showing us to give. I thank You, thank You, thank You.
I wish to meditate more and more deeply, to more deeply immerse myself in Your consciousness, because when immersed, this natural heart of deep love is so obvious, so clear, so readily available to all. There are tendencies of my mind that are wiped clean in a way, or at least they seem to be temporarily suspended, and Your consciousness, pure love remains without doubt, defense, or projection on others.
I wish Asha, to stabilize in Your consciousness, as Your lover, and to remember always the Beloved as they are standing in front of me, as the innocent children that they are, as the ones in need of love and tenderness. This is the spiritual discipline -- to stay true to that, and withhold reaction, or have space on it.
So the question arises in me, Asha, how much time is best to spend in deep immersion in meditation with You, steeping in Your consciousness? I tend to think two hours a day is good, or two hours as many days as possible. And also, coupled with this, is the discipline of cleaning up all negative tendencies, which are so amazingly pronounced and obvious, and also the discipline of not getting thoroughly upset by them. This I feel is quite a dance, because my experience has been that I rise up in You, with You, and then tend to react later and then have to grapple with my egoic tendencies to such a degree that the gifts I would like to bring to all, which are of You, are greatly diminished.
I feel the answer is obvious: LOVE. Always love. And yet, still I offer You this honest expression of my experience to be close to You about it.
With love, from Your daughter,
Mati
Dearest Asha, Mother of All,
Thank you for writing us with such great love and feeling sensitivity and great knowing and understanding. Your beautiful letter, "Be Who You Are," put such wind in each one of our sails, by explaining to each one who we are, directly from Your loving, seeing voice. Today, it is obvious to me that Your children here are happier, more fluid, standing up straighter. Beauteous!
Thank you for what you explained about my True Nature. It is so beautiful how you put it -- "white delicacy." The purity of which You speak is not something I know so very consciously, but I do recognize much of what You said. And You are right, I do feel everything all the time, all the little nuances, all the feelings of people. I love the colors of All! I also tend to avoid feeling as much as I could and benefitting others in that way -- so that is there to be opened up to and allowed, I see. To quit hiding that under a bushel basket! I will, my dear Asha!
Thank You again for writing the Truth of all my friends in this most exquisite letter. I read Your words about them several times. It has brought our hearts and understanding closer together.
Love,
Zidi
Beloved Asha,
The other night I understood something wonderful. David was telling us something about people's wrong ideas about what they should do -- and suddenly I saw it. So much of my life, I have loved understanding, craved understanding, sought understanding... conceptual understanding. I have known that understanding is a wonderful antidote for misunderstanding, and I have wanted to use it that way to help others. And, I also believed it had value in itself.
But that night I saw that understanding (or discovering true ideas) is truly for releasing wrong ideas, not a value in itself. Understanding, when rightly used, decreases our collection of concepts, not enlarges it. Reality is perfectly fine whether we "understand" it conceptually or not. But more often than not, when we think we understand it, we still have a fair amount of wrong or limited ideas in there, and they really are in the way. We don't need them. We need to not have them, and just be present with You, with others, with reality. Whatever we need to know or see will be obvious in the moment, or given by You. But we don't need to carry around a growing collection of concepts.
Oh! Wow! I feel so much lighter, so much simpler. There is a big, beautiful sky inside my mind now. How beautiful! I am so happy about this, dear Asha! Thank you!! This is your beauty.
Love,
Sara
There is true judgment
My dear one,
It is important that you make a true judgment. You see, there is true judgment and there is untrue judgment.
There is the judgment that sees what is there. This judgment sees the person, their heart, their soul, their desires. And it also sees their ego, and what their ego is doing. This kind of judgment is clear-minded, openhearted, all-seeing. It is true judgment.
Then, there is judgment that reacts. This judgment might feel something the ego is doing, and begin to indulge in feeling how awful that is, and become unaware of the person as a whole. And this can happen to varying degrees. This is untrue judgment, because it loses sight of the person. It gets wrapped up in its reaction to something about what the person is being or doing.
When it comes to untrue judgment, all you can do is ignore it, and love, and see past the reactions that are going on in your mind. Just love. Eventually, that habit will fade, if you give those thoughts and feelings no credence.
But then, dear one, not all bad feelings are an untrue judgment. Sometimes one will feel furious because of something that is happening. This may not be untrue. Sometimes it is the truest response that one can have to something somebody is doing. There is honest disgust; there is honest disapproval.
But that which is honest never loses sight of the full picture. Because, while it is honest to see what is wrong with what the ego does, it would be dishonest to forget that there is a human heart involved too, an innocent human heart that is good, and longs for good. If one loses sight of that, then one's thoughts are no longer honest.
There My dear. Just be honest, and then you will not have to worry about your judgments. And if you find yourself thinking thoughts that seem dishonest about anybody, ignore them, and remember who that person is.
But do not ignore what you know about what is wrong. This is your gift. You must be aware of what is wrong. And you must know that it is not wrong to be so aware, or even to say something, at times.
Love,
Asha
You are not as you think
Beloved Francine,
My dear daughter, you are not as you think you are. Your thoughts are so strong, Francine. You think so strongly that you are weak, that you are resistant to higher energy. You are not. That is not you. It is not you who is resistant to it, and it is not you who is weak. Therefore, do not think that it is you. As long as you think that it is you who is resistant and weak you will continue to feel weak, and like you can't overcome it.
I know, My dear, that you are, in some sense, married to these ways of thinking. You have a relationship with these thoughts that you have lived for a long time. But, My dear one, things can change. Always know that these things are not you. The more you think they are you, the worse you will feel. Lately you have focused on the fact that "you" are resistant, and have therefore reinforced that idea about yourself. You have thought, "I am resistant to higher energy." And you have thought, "I am stuck in feeling like I am weak." But you are not the one who wants to be weak, and you are not the one who is resistant to energy or feeling. You are Francine.
My dear one, I will help you with this, always and always. Live with Me, all day and every day, and I will help you come to know who you are, live who you are.
Remember, My dear one, that almost all human beings have this dissatisfaction, of not knowing who they are; of feeling that, the pain of that. All around you people are struggling with the exact same thing. I will help you, and I will help you help them, too. The things we go through together can help everybody very much.
Forget your struggles, My dear one, because they are making you think that you are something that you are not. The more you think about it, the more you are convinced that you are anti-energy, anti-feeling, somehow. It is no good for you to think that of yourself, My dear one. It is not true of you.
Furthermore, do not feel bad if you struggle, for this is somewhat human, in the sense that human beings have egos to overcome. If there is a struggle, let there be a struggle, but do not struggle with it. Do not do anything with it, for it has nothing to do with you.
I will reinforce in you that which you are at each opportunity; and I will always tell you to let go of your ideas, which you are not.
My loving one, continue to love, and to transcend yourself, and I will help you at each turn, to overcome your ideas of your limitations, as you love with Me.
Know, My dear, that you are free, now.
Love,
Asha
Balance outreach and upreach
My dear one,
I see. I see.
My love, you cannot remember My beloved ones all the time by doing anything to improve yourself. This is because remembrance is about the beloved. It is true that when your energy is higher you do remember better. Yes, indeed. This is true, so I do not take away from this, but nonetheless, what I said is true, too. For your remembrance of all to remain constant, spiritual practices will not work, although they will help greatly. Your basic intention to love all of My dear ones so much is what is most helpful. This you have, My dear one. Your reactions are not true, and you know that, so always know that, and always see instead.
When it comes to your spiritual practices, for the deliverances of My gifts, Myself, Myself as you: My dearest one of all, you should do that which creates the best results. This is according both to your own consciousness, and to the wholeness in which you live.
About your own consciousness: You need to know, My dear one, that you do not actually need to do any meditating to be who you are. And yet, it is good for you to be with Me, because you do need to spend time with Me alone, for our intimacy, and for your healing. If we spend time together, and we send out love together in a quiet place, this will help us to stay close, and work well together in ordinary life. And also, for now, you do need that reminder of who you are (although that could be changed at any point, you are not trapped in this need).
About the wholeness in which you live: This is about that people need you. And there are two parts to that. One, they need you to be yourself. So, if meditating helps you to know who you are, then it should be done as much as truly optimizes that knowing. And two, people need you to be available in life with them, in terms of time -- which you are, and which I know you have so much intention to continue being. So, you need to not meditate so much that it would take too much away from that. But, My dear one, you should know that you must find a balance. For there is infinite need in terms of time, and yet, there is also a great and infinite need for you to be yourself. You need to remember both these needs, and do what is right.
Therefore, My dear one, meditate as much as is appropriate according to these things. And remember that the more you are there for people as yourself, the better.
Regarding your negative tendencies: I will help you, My dear. The main thing is to forget, to let go, to go forward in love. You are doing this, My dear one. Do not worry about your fears. They will be replaced by knowing, as we go forward together, in this love dance with all.
Know, My dear, that you are free; always already free. Nothing that has happened, no pattern that you have created, changes that. You are free.
Come with Me, follow Me, walk with Me, and you will come to know this.
Love,
Asha
Have space on your reactivity, and love
Beloved Zidi,
You say that you tend to avoid feeling. But My dear, you do not. You still always feel everything, but you may not feel it the way that you truly feel it, because of reactions. You do not avoid feeling, as much as you feel things and respond in ways that are not true. For example, you feel things, and you choose to implode. (That may seem as if you didn't feel things, but it is not the case.) So, you do not have to feel things better; instead, you should learn not to react.
To give your friends your white Self, My dear one, pay attention. Pay close attention to your beloved friends, and love each one, personally, all the time. This is your nature. In the action and attention of love, you will be yourself.
And, as you do this, let go of whatever reactions come up. When they do come up, do not worry about them. If you will, share the fact that you have certain reactions coming up, in all honesty, and have space on them. Let all know what you know, and what they also already know: that you love every one, and that you have these reactions, and that you do not agree with them. But let it be with a greater space that you acknowledge these things.
Know, My dear one, that you are not bad because of these things. Every human being has an ego they need to overcome. Every human being has egoic tendencies to overcome. Your friends, and I, and the whole universe, will sympathize with you, as you love attentively, and deal with the reactions you feel as they come up. (Deal with them by simply letting them go, and loving anyway, loving on, loving more and not less, continuing to love instead of being distracted by the reaction. You see, you can have a reaction, and that may seem like an interruption of love, but if you worry about that reaction, or think that you are not loving because of it, then you have interrupted love much more than any reaction, in and of itself, can do.)
So, My dear one, love and love and love. Love now and now and now. Give your love. And have space on your reactions. This is the only way.
Try not to think or worry too much about what you perceive to be your inadequacies. This will only bring you down, and keep you down, if you continue to worry about it. Try not to notice whether you are being adequate or inadequate. Just love, whether you are adequate or not, and don't think about it. And then trust me, My dear, you will be perfectly adequate.
I love you, My dear one. Stay close.
Love,
Asha
Understanding is simply seeing
Bhava Sara,
Indeed. What is is what is valuable!
These understandings, My dear one, are helpful for people, as you know. Because, as you know, you cannot help a person out of the mud without getting into the mud. The world of thought and conceptual ideas is the mud. But, at the same time, if you like the mud too much, you can't help people out of the mud, you can only take their hand and show them their way around in the mud. Either way, the whole thing is still too muddy.
My dear one, your blue sky mind will be of such great use to All. Thank you, My beloved Sara.
You are a celebrator of what is, My dear one. There is such a thing as true understanding. That is understanding that does not carry around ideas or understandings of things, but it is seeing. It is seeing what things are and how they work, and appreciating those things. It is not weighty or involved in thought. It is glorious, celebratory. It is marvelous. This is your nature, beloved Sara-bon.
It is like, when you look at a dance. If you see the dance, that is good. If you truly understand what that dance is, then that understanding is simple. If you have some complicated understanding of what that dance is, it may be accurate, but it is not true.
The same is true of seeing and understanding people, God, life, all things. True understanding is simple. So simple. So wonderful and glorious and light.
Now, My dear little Sara, I give this to you not as an understanding to carry around conceptually, but as something simply to see and know, as you would when you watch a dance.
Thank you, My dear one, for your knowing.
I love you!
Asha