People often develop and "practice" bad mental habits (habits that bring many relationships to ruin) quite unconsciously. We may, for example, spend a lot of time thinking about some relationship with CONCERN. We do not think concern is negative -- only that it is justified, understandable, unavoidable, etc. We may think that concern shows nothing other than care. But, in dwelling in concern thoughts too much, we develop negative associations, and build a rather negative relationship with the person. This is not to say that we should never be concerned about anyone or anything. It is only to point out the obvious dangers of CHRONIC, EXCESSIVE, or HABITUAL concern in relationship.
If we are unconscious of habits that are hurting us, we need to become conscious of those things. Otherwise, we are simply stuck. In this case, we need to see that unconscious negativity severely damages relationships. The truth of the matter is, AS LONG AS people fail to be responsible for their thoughts and assumptions, the reality of relationship cannot and will not be fully realized.