How to Heal Our Achilles Heel in Personal Love

Competent lovers are made, not born. Competence in love is something we have to learn. People sometimes say, truthfully, they don't teach you to love in school. We learn through experience. The question is, what, exactly, do we learn? What the ego "learns" from experience is junk: "Love is hopeless. I am hopeless. God hates me." A constructive student learns the useful lessons experience can teach us.

If we are to develop a context of love that is truly healing, someday, we must resolve to learn well from past mistakes, and make a healthy re-approach. We need a willingness to re-enter the fray; to experience, face, and overcome those old, destructive patterns. Practice alone makes perfect -- and the kind of practice that makes perfect is right practice -- not just repeating mistakes.

Of course, we cannot expect that all our relationships are going to be perfect. But we can muster the commitment necessary to work through the imperfections -- and to transcend each negative pattern we recognize as being our "downfall," our Achilles heel, in the context of personal love.

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